


Descent

by goldtoashes, heirsofbrokenlegacies (jarofhearts)



Series: Discord [3]
Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: (Almost) Caring Melkor, Beginnings, Less Innocent Mairon, M/M, Mairon Makes Bad Life Choices, Mind Meld, Pre-Years of the Trees, References to Ainulindalë, Shapeshifting, great music, power addiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2021-02-13 09:24:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21492046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldtoashes/pseuds/goldtoashes, https://archiveofourown.org/users/jarofhearts/pseuds/heirsofbrokenlegacies
Summary: Melkor shows Mairon the true power of the Discord and changes him irrevocably.
Relationships: Morgoth Bauglir | Melkor/Sauron | Mairon
Series: Discord [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1537228
Comments: 3
Kudos: 32





	Descent

“You don’t have to do it, you know.”

His voice feigned concern, but the challenge behind it was unmistakable. You raised your chin ever so slightly, meeting his gaze.

“I am ready. It is what I came for, after all.”

“I know you’re eager. That does not mean you’re ready.”

The wind had picked up, an icy gale from the North that howled in the dark cliffs below and tore at your clothes as tauntingly as his words did. Now that your master had shattered the Two Lamps, it was always dark in these lands, a constant reminder of the vast power he wielded.

“My Lord, I believe you would not be amused about coming up all the way to the top of the mountains just to have me change my mind now,” you replied smugly, “so why don’t you just try me.”

He chuckled darkly. “Very well, my faithful lieutenant. I suggest you shift into something more resistant to heat, though. It would be a pity to see this pretty form burn to a piece of charcoal.”

You gave him a disbelieving look. “I am a spirit of fire. I don’t burn.”

“Not by the fires you have known so far,” he replied with an ominous smile. You raised your eyebrows skeptically, but apparently, he was not in the mood to elaborate further. “Go ahead then. I have things to do aside from attending to you, after all.”

You nodded, directing your focus inwards, towards your fiery core, and let it come to the fore. Solid flesh was melting into blazing energy, your defined shape blurring to a halo of brightness and flame. Although the transformation was quick and painless, you immediately missed your connection to the physical world that you had found yourself increasingly attached to recently. The sight of the dark mountains, the smell of ashes and snow, the chill of the howling wind, it all seemed to fade into the background as the senses of your new shape expanded, pervading the air as well as the ground below. You could sense the currents of molten, fiery earth moving slowly somewhere deep underground, the violent strokes of a storm in the far distance, and closer, the sedulous bristle of Utumno, thousands of pulsating nodes, some small and insignificant, others larger, brighter, but all united in the purpose of adhering to your Master’s dark desires. Flowing energy, shifting, lighting up, and you were tied to it, connected to everything, a part of the pulsating heartbeat of Arda itself. 

_ Good. Now go a little deeper. To the core of it all. _

His voice was directly in your mind now, a tremendous force that you immediately turned to, doing what he had asked of you without even thinking about it. You let yourself sink deeper, the shadows of the physical world dissolving as the nodes, strings and patterns that tied it together became brighter, filling your mind with their vibrations, pulsing, melting together until they became sound. An ancient melody that echoed within the core of your being, a song that had been sung before the world was born. A song whose every note, every pattern you knew by heart, as you had been one of the many voices to sing it, weaving your own thoughts into it as you did, willing the world into existence without knowing it. The music resonated within you, speaking of creation, of growth, of a world slowly evolving in its due course, and you remembered a time when this had been all you desired, when the pattern of this song, sweet and harmonic, had been the sole purpose and the center of your existence.

Until there had been another.

_ And you know it, too. _

There was another, a  _ greater _ song, different from the first one and more powerful as well, but you just could not remember it. The memory was there, but just infuriatingly out of your reach.

_ Deeper still, Mairon. You sang it, too, it is still written inside of you.  _

_ But how…  _

You tried to remember, but as the first song still filled your entire existence, it was hard to recall the other, even though it was so close. You struggled aimlessly, without direction, when again, you felt your Master’s powerful mind brushing against yours. And while you were aware of the immense might roaring inside of him, a brutal, merciless force that could crush you and rip you to shreds within a heartbeat, his touch was reassuring and light.

_ Let me guide you and show you what you have forgotten. _

And so you did, letting his power enclose you, pull you deeper still until it felt as if you were slowly falling through the darkness, spinning, circling and then…

It emerged slowly, out of the chorus of the first song, but quickly grew louder, a rapid, frantic heartbeat, echoing within your being like deep, rolling thunder. It spoke of power, of mastery, of a world that could be shaped and formed according to your desire, the melody stirring your very core and you remembered, you remembered…

Y _ ou know what this is, Fairest? _

_ Yes. The Second Song. The one called the Discord. _

_ You think it’s a discord, then? _

The music grew more powerful, resonating within every fibre of your being, brimming with might, with alluring promises of glory and triumph that spoke to the deep, dark craving inside of you which had led you to this place. 

_ No… it’s glorious. And…  _

In this moment, as you stood awed, the patterns seemed to fall into place. This song was a part of the world, too, its source, the source of its power not Eru but solely the dark force that had guided you here. And it was a part of  _ you _ , too, as you had felt the dark fascination, the frantic ecstasy within this song even during the Creation, and you had already joined the one that you called your Master now back then, no more able to resist and to stay away than when he had finally called you to his side again.

_ … it’s You. _

You felt his dark amusement rippling through you, feeding the savage craving inside you.

_ Very good, Mairon. Now go ahead, indulge yourself. It is power… and it is me. Feel it, give yourself over, take in as much as you can.  _

This time, you didn’t need directions or guidance, your mind and your spirit opening up to the song as if you had never forgotten it in the first place, wanting it, craving it more than anything. And as you fully gave in to the mesmerizing patterns, you felt the music being transformed, aligning to your nature. It entered you as a burning wildfire, red-hot ecstasy that seemed to scorch you from within, raging through your spirit, feeding the flame within you, and willingly, you let yourself get carried away.

_ Careful, my Fair One, don’t lose yourself. _

The words resonated in your mind but you felt unable to heed them, riding the burning currents from the core of Arda that molded you into something new, something incredibly powerful and terrible.  _ You can do anything, _ it whispered to you,  _ be anything, there are no boundaries, no limits, not for you, not anymore…  _

_ I said  _ ** _careful_ ** _ , unless you want your mind to take damage. Now, try to hold on to feeling and come back to the surface. Do it slowly, it might be a little… uncomfortable to readjust. _

As much as you had regretted shifting to this spiritual form, you now felt reluctant to let go of this immeasurable source of power. Still, you yielded to his pressure and retreated, ascending from the dark depths of your own mind and willing your blazing shape to return to your previous form.

You quickly realized his understatement - a deliberate one, if you should guess. Returning was not uncomfortable, it was blindingly painful. Your  _ fana _ was not used to accommodate the amount of power you had inebriated yourself on and finally, you understood what your Master had meant when he referred to fires you did not know so far. Every fibre of your body seemed to be burning brightly, your blood boiling, flames dancing in front of your eyes, the thundering tune of the second song threatening to make your eardrums explode. And for a long, terrible moment you could not see, you could not hear, could not feel anything but the rush and the burn that held your mind in their iron grip while the heat was scorching your unprepared body.

_ … no boundaries, no limits, not for you, not anymore…  _

With strenuous effort, you willed yourself into existence, forcing your shaking, twisting shape to expand, to harden, to accept your blazing mind. The ground below was trembling violently in response as unfocussed power was raging through the connecting patterns. Stones crashed down and solid rock was splitting, with scalding hot smoke and red-hot lava spilling from the cracks like blood from a gaping wound. The first breath you exhaled from burning lungs came as a terrible scream, echoing wildly from the mountains around you and wielding more destruction.

_ Easy, Mairon, you’re good, you can do this… calm down… _

His words, spoken directly to your fevered mind, calming, steadying as much as the powerful grip around our shoulders, holding you upright and keeping you from tumbling over the cliffs in your frenzy.

_ Don’t fight it, just bear it. You’re doing good. It’ll be better in a heartbeat. _

And you didn’t know whether it was your or his doing, but he was right after all. Slowly, the pain subsided as your form adjusted to your enhanced spirit, enduring the savage burn. The violent aftershocks became less severe and declined further until there was nothing left but a slight tremble. Red sparks were dancing within your vision, the taste of ash and blood in your mouth. 

“There you go, Fairest.” The deep voice was as gentle and comforting as it could possibly be, yet you sensed his amusement nevertheless. “Isn’t that better?”

You tried to answer, but your throat felt like sandpaper, as if every drop of liquid within your body had burned away. And yet, and yet… despite the effort and the pain that put your  _ fana _ to its limit, you  _ still  _ felt it. The triumphant, intoxicating roar of the song within your blood, within the core of your being which now, finally,  _ finally _ remembered. Exhaustion was creeping in, but at the same time, you were filled to the brim with this glorious blaze, the power making your limbs tingle in anticipation of what you would be able to achieve now, what you could create wielding all this glorious strength.

“Come now, let me look at you.”

Your chin was seized firmly, dark eyes scrutinizing you with astonishment. “Amazing,” he muttered, and for once, you could detect no trace of derision in his words. “You truly live up to your name, Admirable. At least it would seem you are the first who made it out of this with his mind and spirit fully intact.”

_ Ah. _

You thought of the fiery  _ Valarauka _ , mighty and terrible, yet trapped within their blazing, monstrous shadow forms, their minds set on nothing but wreaking havoc, destroying everything that dared to come within reach of their burning whips. So this was what had happened to them, drinking too greedily from the same source you have inebriated yourself on, unaware of the terrible consequences that might follow. You swallowed drily, not sure whether you should feel immense pride or dread. 

“You could have warned me.”

“As if you would have heeded my warning, even if I had,” he replied with a sneer. “And it would have been unnecessary, you did excellent, after all.” A gentle touch at your temple. “Look at yourself, Child of the Everlasting Flame.”

A single image, projected into your mind. Your  _ fana _ , still dazed and visibly roughed up, hair, features and fine clothes covered with grime and ash. 

But the apparent change was in the eyes.

Once bright green had subsided to molten gold, with an unruly flicker inside of it. Blazing brightly, they now seemed to reflect the fire burning deep inside of you, mirroring your agitated, unruly mind.

_ Beautiful _ , you heard him whisper within your head. But for once, you failed to answer, lost in the terrible glory of your own reflection, unable to turn away. The pattern of the song was still resonating within every fibre of your being and you knew, you  _ felt  _ that this time, you would not forget it again.

You would never forget it again.


End file.
